The Art of Saying No
Sarah Mitchell
Product Designer at Figma
Early in my career, I said yes to everything. Every meeting, every project, every "quick favor." I thought this was the path to success. I was wrong.
Learning to say no was one of the hardest—and most valuable—skills I've developed. It's not about being difficult or unhelpful. It's about protecting your time, energy, and focus for the things that truly matter.
Why Saying No is So Hard
We're conditioned to say yes. As children, we're taught to be helpful and agreeable. In professional settings, saying yes feels like being a team player, being ambitious, being indispensable.
But here's the truth: Every time you say yes to something that doesn't align with your priorities, you're saying no to something that does.
"People think focus means saying yes to the thing you've got to focus on. But that's not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas." — Steve Jobs
The Framework I Use
Before responding to any request, I ask myself three questions:
- Does this align with my current priorities? If not, it's an automatic no.
- Do I have the capacity to do this well? A rushed yes is worse than a thoughtful no.
- Am I the best person for this? Sometimes the kindest thing is to point someone toward better help.
5 Scripts You Can Use Today
The hardest part of saying no is finding the right words. Here are five scripts I use regularly:
1. The Capacity No
"I'd love to help, but I'm at capacity right now. I wouldn't be able to give this the attention it deserves."
2. The Priority No
"This sounds interesting, but it doesn't align with my current priorities. I need to pass."
3. The Redirect No
"I'm not the right person for this, but have you considered talking to [name]? They'd be perfect."
4. The Timeline No
"I can't commit to this timeline, but I could help you in [timeframe] if that works."
5. The Simple No
"Thanks for thinking of me, but I'll have to pass on this one."
What Changed for Me
Since becoming more intentional about saying no, I've:
- Finished projects I'm actually proud of (instead of rushed work)
- Had more energy for the things I care about
- Built deeper relationships with fewer people
- Reduced my stress levels significantly
- Actually had time to think and be creative
The irony? I've become more helpful, not less. When I do say yes, I can give it my full attention and do it well.
Your Challenge This Week
Practice saying no to one thing that doesn't align with your priorities. It doesn't have to be a big thing. Start small.
Notice how it feels. Notice what space it creates. Notice what becomes possible when you protect your time and energy.
What's your biggest challenge with saying no? Hit reply and let me know—I read every response.
About Sarah Mitchell
Product designer at Figma. Previously at Stripe and Google. I write about design systems, career growth, and building products people love.
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